Member-only story
It’s okay to end a relationship with someone with mental health issues
[Trigger warning: suicide, anxiety, self-injury]
My wake-up call was on the toilet. I sat, with my phone in my hand and typed into Google:“Is it bad to break up with someone because of their mental health?”
Why on Earth did I need permission to cut someone out of my life?
But the truth is, I did feel I needed that validation. For four months, I’d been in a hot and heavy, steamy yet stormy relationship. It was drama filled, and they were the source of all the drama — from suicidal 3 am phone calls to shouting at me in the street outside my home.
It was toxic. Yet I kept coming back to them, yolked to it all. I was happy to accept the thunderstorms of irrational anger and suicidal moments because I remembered the golden weeks we’d had together. I remembered how they were radiant and vivacious when their meds worked. Their energy filled the room. They were a caring and attentive partner. The first person who had ever cooked me a meal (and I was married for 10 years!) Those blissful moments felt like being on the beach in September, enjoying the last of the summer heat but noticing the chill of autumn close by.
I allow the good in people to erase anything bad they’ve ever done. It means I’m generally a happy-go-lucky person…
