Member-only story
Full disclosure: (that’s what being brave is, after all, right?) I’m polyamorous. That means I choose to have multiple, simultaneous romantic relationships with multiple consenting adults, who are all fully aware that I see other people.
Why am I writing about this now? Because it’s been on my mind ever since I had brunch with a good friend, K. K and I were talking about a situation I was finding difficult in one of my relationships — polyamorous relationships have ups and downs, too. At a lull in the conversation, she leant back in her chair and said, “I just couldn’t do it. Doesn’t the thought of [partner] kissing someone else make you go crazy?!”
Honestly, it doesn’t. It never has. I took a bite of my eggs and joked that I’ve always been good at sharing, but K’s question has haunted me for weeks. Why doesn’t the thought of a romantic partner kissing someone else make me go mad? Why don’t I feel that healthy streak of jealousy mainstream culture and every tragically sad rom-com tells me I should?!
I never have felt that way. I’ve had one genuine monogamous relationship in my life and even that was opened up before it ended in divorce. My brain just doesn’t cope with monogamy. I don’t understand why in this one area of our lives, we expect one single person to fulfil every need we have! And selfishly, I don’t want…
