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If you’ve stumbled across this article, hoping to find the perfect monologue to deliver to your partner that will inspire them to suddenly leap forth from the closet and publicly proclaim their undying love and devotion to you, I’m sorry; this isn’t it.
In fact, spoiler alert: there is no perfect monologue that will do that for you. Because the fact that your partner is closeted has nothing to do with you. And it isn’t about you.
I’m both bisexual and polyamorous — two things that people choose to remain in the closet about. I’m out in terms of my sexuality and my stance on monogamy, but I’ve dated women who weren’t out as being gay or bisexual and I’m currently in a loving relationship with a married partner who isn’t out as being polyamorous.
It’s a tough thing to navigate (huge understatement, I know) but it’s possible to make peace with a partner who’s still closeted whilst you’re out. Here’s how:
- Acknowledge that their being closeted preexisted you. It’s important to make this distinction because when your partner is closeted and refuses to talk about you to their friends and family or tag you in things on social media or even acknowledge that you exist, it can induce feelings of shame. Logic (and about every rom-com written since 1970) says if you love…
