🙋🏾 Hi, I’m a momma and I’m fat. Don’t apologise; don’t sit there uncomfortable and shocked. I am not embarrassed by my fat; I embrace it. I’m fat, yes, but my weight isn’t a disability. It does not prevent me from doing anything.
If you see me in the park with my kid, I’m the one with my fat ass sliding down the slide or spinning on the roundabout or climbing to the top of the climbing frame.
Because I want my child (who is beanpole thin despite eating cakes and sweets and crisps) to know that your size will only stop you from doing things if you let it. And because growing up as a fat kid, I never saw any fat adults enjoying themselves. Every conversation was about counting calories, fitting into that dress and the latest 100 calorie snack.
I believe in moderation. I don’t drink fizzy drinks, I drink water all day apart from my morning coffee and apple juice. I don’t eat much chocolate. I can’t have gluten so bye bye carbs. I’m fruit obsessed and I do yoga and eat yogurt daily. But still, I’m fat. Because that is just how my body is.
And as a momma of small children, it’s exactly how my body should be. When you become a momma, you should be fat. Your body literally expands to grow the baby, your hips widen to carry you and the precious life inside of you.
The image of a big momma: a big bosomed, wide-hipped inviting woman with a warm smile is comforting for a reason. No one wants to cuddle up with a popsicle stick. It’s why there are no skinny teddy bears.
Children and babies are major cuddlers. It is their modus operandi. A cuddle is gold dust to a kid. It’s the cure-all when they’re injured or poorly. It’s how you greet them in the morning and how you say goodnight. Those little arms reaching around you is amazing and you practically swallowing them up, enveloping them in love? The Welsh call it a cwtch. And I don’t care what anyone says: you need a little extra cushioning for a proper cwtch.
Mommas are healers, we are love givers, life creators, nourishers and nurturers and the more curves the better. Mommahood is a time of fullness, a time for wantonness, for indulging on love and sharing love. Mommas were made to be fat. To carry love around and to comfort and smother with love.
Don't jump down my throat: I’m not saying skinny mommas are inferior mommas. I’m not advocating an unhealthy lifestyle. There’s a difference in being fat and being morbidly obese. But even if you are morbidly obese, there are worse things you could be. Fat isn’t a negation or a blight on anyone. It’s just one of the innumerable ways to be and it’s perfectly acceptable, no, it’s an evolutionary certainty that mommas should be fat.
So for the first few years of your child’s life, don’t beat yourself up about your weight. Kids are only small once but they’ll be big forever. Give cuddles with a bit more padding. Embrace your voluptuous body and be amazed at the hard work and the miracle it just performed. And when your child starts to need you a bit less, focus on yourself again. Lose the weight if you want. Or don’t. Your size isn’t proportional to the quality of your parenting.
I said your size isn’t proportional to the quality of your parenting.
You should be fat right now.